How to Eliminate Negative Thought (3 day Challenge)

Will you try Leo's 3 day challenge? Let us know what's on your mind.

What are Limiting Beliefs?

So in the last post we talked about how certain experiences from childhood hold us back from doing and having what we want. It’s important to understand why this happens so that we can break free of these self-imposed limitations.

What are limiting beliefs?

 At the most basic level we need to be able to recognise perilous situations so that we can protect ourselves from danger. If we don’t learn that putting a hand in a fire is dangerous there’s nothing to prevent us from doing it again and suffering the same consequences. So it’s important to learn from our experiences so we can protect ourselves from harm.

The problem arises when the beliefs that we form get in the way of our personal growth or hold us back from achieving something we want. We begin to create stories that become distorted over time (check out this short story from a previous blog and you’ll see what I mean!).  We begin to apply labels to ourselves like I’m too old, I’m too young, I’m a woman, I’m not clever enough, I’m not white, I’m too short etc. We use these beliefs (excuses) to keep us in our comfort zone where it feels safe. These are called limiting, or negative beliefs.

How do we develop limiting beliefs?

Our parents most often have the biggest influence on our belief systems. There’s an old saying about turning into your parents even if it’s the last thing you want to happen.  Over-protective parents may have given us too many warnings about taking risks while some of us may have been at risk from their parents from neglect to abuse.  Those extremes and everything in between will give a child a perspective on what to believe in order to stay safe. Just watching her parents gives a child a perspective on what’s safe and what isn’t. There are all kinds of other influences such as peer pressure from other kids, teachers, the environment, media, social structure; even DNA!

We may not always be able to break free of every limiting belief but we can shed some of them and update our thinking on others. We’ll start looking at how to do that in the next few posts. What limiting beliefs do you have that are holding you back? If you’d like to ask a question or share an experience please leave a comment.

Low Self Esteem. That's good!

Did you know that Elephants have a more developed hippocampus, a brain region responsible for emotion and spatial awareness, than any other animal including human beings?

I know what most of the Guru’s say, I’ve read so many of their books, but have you ever tried to give up a truly debilitating bad habit? You can go to AA meetings and work on your alcoholism but you’ll always be a self-confessed alcoholic and recovering alcoholics use this knowledge to their advantage. 

Just take a look at the word “Mindset”. Doesn’t the very word suggest that the mind is actually set? To change concrete once it’s set (our beliefs once we become adults) can feel like an almost impossible task! Maybe we don’t have complete control over our minds. Isn’t that what the evidence suggests?

I wondered how it would be if in the same way I just went ahead and admitted that I have low self-esteem and made changes to my life despite this knowledge, just like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict. That way I could use the tools for change but it would sure take off some of the pressure. For the rest of his life a recovering alcoholic will tell you he’s an alcoholic even if he never touches another drop. One of the features of low self-worth is that we spend so much time beating ourselves up for our shortcomings. The negative mindset of someone who’s depressed and feels inadequate or unworthy doesn’t lend itself to making positive changes.

So if nothing so far has worked to your satisfaction, stick around and let’s see what can be done. This blog is as much an inquiry as a solution, and what works for Peter may not work for Jane but there’s always someone out there who feels the same way you do. Why not leave a comment and see?