“We tend to value "genuine"
people and think poorly of those whom we perceive as being "fake"—but
why is that? After all, what motivates "fakeness" is an effort to
appear more appealing or impressive, so shouldn’t we find people who care about
our opinions more appealing than those who, by definition, do their own thing
regardless of what we think?
Well, no, we shouldn’t—and for three
basic reasons:
1. We are much more
likely to trust a genuine person than a fake one because we believe those who
are true to themselves are also likely to be truer and more honest with us.
2. We often associate
genuineness with appealing traits, such as strength of character and emotional resilience—and correctly
so, as being true to yourself takes confidence, tenacity, and
often even bravery.
3. We are attracted
to uniqueness and individuality, qualities genuine people
usually have in spades.
Many journeys of self-improvement and
self-discovery involve efforts to live a more authentic life. Adopting the
following seven habits can help you become a more genuine person—however,
balance is important. Overdoing any of these might do
more harm than good so be sure to set moderate, not extreme, goals when it comes to working on
them.”
1. Genuine people speak their mind. This is actually a
two-step habit. Genuine people take time to figure out their own opinions and
perspectives about things, and they are not shy about sharing their thought-out
opinions with others. The manner in which they share their opinions
also matters: Genuine people are comfortable presenting their
ideas without expecting or needing to convince others they are right. One
thing that helps them get in touch with their true opinions and
perspectives is...
2. Genuine people respond to internal expectations,
not external ones. Genuine people spend time thinking
about and exploring their own beliefs, ideals, standards, and expectations
because they rely on the answers to these questions to give them direction
and purpose in life. Of course, identifying your own ideas and beliefs is
not necessarily easy, since they can easily conflict with the beliefs
and standards of the families, communities, and cultures in which you were
raised. Indeed, being authentic is often associated with being brave
because you're then likely to do the following...
3. Genuine people forge their own
paths. Being authentic is not just about what you think or say but what
you do and how you are in the world. Being guided by an
internal compass means not having to follow the conventional or typical routes
others take to achieve their goals. Therefore, genuine people search for and
discover their own unique way of pursuing their passions and purpose, often
forging an entirely new path as they do. The risk of forging a new and unproven
path is that not all your efforts will be successful.
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From Psychology Today by Guy Winch PhD
(Author of ‘The Squeaky Wheel’)
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